Hello Weenies.

I've never been too keen on Halloween. Perhaps I'm just bitter that when I was a kid my mother wouldn't let me go trick or treating because "it's begging" or perhaps it was the turning off the lights and tv when anyone knocked on the door and then holding very still until they'd gone. Either way, it's up there on my list of sucky holidays.

As I grew older, I found delight in opening the door to the little beggars and pretending I was hard of hearing.

"Trick or treat." They'd chant.
"What?"
"Trick or treat." They'd repeat.
"Pardon?"
"Trick or treat." Now the third time was always the charm as they'd inevitably lean inside the doorway somewhat. This was my cue to shout "Trick!" and slam the door as hard as I could on them.

Heh heh heh.

This year will be different. This year I will have my two year old son asleep in his cot and a big bag of 'Get the hell offa my property' waiting for any little beggar dressed as Sporticus, The Joker or any other colourful fool (colourfool?) that wakes the little man up.

So if you are going beggin- Trick or treating tonight, check your watch. If there is any chance that there is a small child asleep (or an angry artist) inside that house, keep walking.

G.